Naked, but at Peace.

Here is a Homily I wrote as a practice homily in seminary. I still look back to this writing from time to time as I prepare for Lent, I hope you also find it useful.

The Woman Caught in Adultery

John 8:1-11

This past Thursday my classmates and I stood before the entire seminary community and the Church herself to make our deacon promises.  There were three separate promises, first was a declaration of freedom, then the profession of faith, and finally the oath of fidelity.  The declaration of freedom is to state before God and His Church that you fully know what you are asking for and pursuing and that your are completely free to do so.  The profession of faith is a declaration that you believe all that is contained in the Creed and the Magisterium of the Church.  And finally, the Oath of fidelity is a vow that you will never stay from communion with the Church, both in her teaching and in your discipline and behavior.  

During the Declaration of freedom, as I was standing together with my class before the altar.  As I stated that I knew what the Church was to expect from me.  As I stated that I would carry all of my duties out all the days of my life, especially the obligation to celibacy.  As I stood naked before God, I knew.  I knew all that I had ever done to sin against God, to hurt people around me, to push people away from me.  I knew all the people who had ever done to hurt me, I knew all the ways in which I had been hurt.  I knew all of those that have ever loved me with the love of the Father.  I knew.  I knew.  I knew all those that I have ever loved.  I knew all the things that I have ever done to bring others to Christ.  I knew God.  I knew myself.  I was naked and standing.  

All that has shaped me into the man that I am today, all the guilt of those I have hurt, all the shame of that which I had done, all the pain of what others have done to me, all the self hatred, all the self love, all the grief, all the joy all the wariness of friendship, all the grace, all the love of others, all righteous deeds, all the misery, all the sorrow, all the joy, all of the all was there present in me in that one moment.  I should have hated myself for those things.  Those who stood around me should have stoned me.  God should have condemned me, right?

But that is not what happened.  What actually happened is that with all the elements of my life sitting there in my at one moment was that I was overwhelmed by a great peace, the greatest peace I have ever experienced in my life.  I was naked and full of God's peace.  I began to silently weep as Jesus mercifully picked me up off the floor of my broken heart.  He gazed through my eyes and into the secret dungeons of my soul.  And his gaze was love.  In this moment, all was joy.  In this moment, Jesus healed a part of me that I didn't even want him to see.  In this moment I was at peace.  With all the reasons I could give that I am not worthy of life, much less ordination, Jesus gazed into my soul and said to me, "Do any of the people gathered here today condemn you?  Neither do I.  Go and sin no more.  Go and do my work.  Go and share my love."

Dragged down the streets by her accusers this woman is thrown at the feet of Christ.  Humiliated by being caught in the act of adultery, humiliated by being dragged through the streets, humiliated by public accusation, there she is, thrown to the feet of Christ in all of her shamefulness, in all of her sin.  The sand turning to mud beneath her face as she weeps for guilt of all she has done.  There lying in the dirt with her, he guilt, her shame, her sadness, her sorrow, her woe, her pain, her self loathing, her despair.  Their standing above her, looking down at her, the love of the universe, the Word which spoken created all things, the light that drives out all darkness, the babe born to die, the prince of peace, the savior of the universe, her savior, he who expiates her sin, he who takes her sin, becomes her sin, and crucifies her sin.  Standing there above her, the love that created her, the king, the Lord, the Savior, and her Judge.  He speaks to her defense. "Let he who has no sin cast the first stone."

The crowd looks down at her.  No the crowd looks in, into their own souls.  They were shamed.  It was in their attempt to judge this woman, their attempt to condemn her to a humiliating death, their attempt to play God and decide who lives and who dies, that they are judged, that the Divine. Judge looks at them and measures out the judgment they tried to bestow upon this woman.  Jesus deflected their judgment back onto them.  He shielded the woman.  But why?  Why? Because Jesus wants nothing more than for the sinner to turn back to Him with their whole heart and live.  The crowd however are not turning back to God with their whole hearts.  They are hardening their hearts against the woman and their backs to God.  It is in their judgment that they are judged.

As the crowd walks away, Jesus turns His attention back to the woman to ask, "Has no one condemned you."  Chills shoot down the woman's spine as she attempts to swallow Christ's words.  All that she has ever been told about herself swells to the surface of her mind. She trembles in anticipatory shame.  What is it that this man is to do with her?  Will he guilt her into walking away from the situation too?  Will He condemn her?  After all, she does deserve it.  She has sinned gravely against God and her community.  What she has done can indeed place her in hell.  The tear that had mingled with the dirt beneath her have now turned into sweat, the kind of sweat that only comes with a chill and with a racing heart as the anxiety of the situation overflows from her soul and overwhelms her mortal body.  

Jesus continues, "Neither do I."  Her universe crashes.   A sense of relief only to be mixed and confused with a sense of unworthiness.  "Go and sin no more."  With these simple words, Jesus dismisses her.  What could have been the worst day of her life has turned into the day of her salvation.  Not only has she been saved by this encounter with Jesus, she has been changed for greatness.  She has been called by Christ to move out of her sinfulness, told she is worthy of being shown mercy.  Jesus, with eyes filled with eternal self sacrificing love, looks deeply into her soul, He sees her sin, her woundedness, her scars, her pain, her turmoil, her self loathing, her guilt, her shame.  He sees it all, and He loves her.  He sees it all, there she stands naked before her God, and He sees it all.  And yet, He loves her, forgives her, and calls her to follow Him all the more.  

Brothers and sisters, we are in the heart of Lent, we are in the heart of the season of nakedness and of repentance.  Jesus is calling.  There we are, naked, exposed and scared.  Be not afraid, Jesus is calling you.  Leave nothing back.  Hold nothing back.  Stand naked before your lord and allow him to love you.  Stand naked and be not ashamed.  Stand naked and experience his healing touch.  Stand naked and be at peace.  

Nicholas Napolitano

Seminarian - Archdiocese of Mobile

9 March 2016

Fourth Wednesday of Lent 

 Fourth Sunday Gospel Year C